Baby, I Know You'll Understand.
blabber.
And its scary as hell. I feel like im dreaming all the time, i feel like im in a movie. I imagine myself from different peoples perspectives. Im too scared to be by myself, but sometimes i have to be. I have metal breakdowns about everything. I cant help but to over think everything. Im so fat and disgusting, and i only reliazed how bad it was last night. Im throwing out all the junk food. I cut myself on my hip-bone every day to remind myself not to eat. I need to be sexy, i need to have a sexy body, one that other people will envy. A great body that can wear almost any article of clothing in and still look hot. Im growing my nails so they are nice and neat. Im fucking getting rid of my disgusting warts, and skin tags. I want my braces off. They are so fucking ugly. I need to keep stretching my ears. I need way more money. I need another cigarette pack already. These pimples are fucking putrid, i never get them so why do i have them now? My eye lids are fucking crusty. Like, there all dried up and shit. Its fucking gross, why do i have it? Im bloody ugly enough. I cant believe that i cant just be a little bit pretty. I wish i didnt cry all the fucking time. Like now. I cant even see the fucking keyboard properly. Im a fucking embarrassment. Im a fucking shame. Im dirty, im ferral, im disgusting, im ugly. Im everything that no one wants to be. I have all these fucking mental illnesses, and i dont know how to cope. I barley go to school anymore. Everyone hates me, and i have all these stupid rumors going round about me all the fucking time. I dont know why everyone has a problem with me. Ive never done anything to them. All i get is dirty looks, and bitchy giggles. Im always scared. I want a gun. My mother wants to send me to Sydney to get put in a mental home again. Wyong was a fucking nightmare, so i cant even imagine what it would be like in Sydney. Someone help, please, someone listen, i just want someone to talk to, i dont want to be alone.
